The Games We Play
by AngeloftheOdd
Summary: A series of short stories that intertwine the male cast of Death Note together. BxL onesided , LxLight, MattxMello yaoi.
1. Introduction: The Players

**The Games We Play**

**By Angel of the Odd**

**Introduction: The Players**

Their lives had intertwined like links in a chain. Six men. Six lives shattered by loss. Six stories of those who professed themselves geniuses. Six players in a game.

Beyond Birthday. The first to roll the dice. He knew the rules and he knew how to break them. His method was one of percision. Every little move calculated right down to the last detail. He hadn't expected the addition of a wild card. Naomi Misora. The fatal flaw in his plan. Beyond met defeat in the hot lick of flames.

L. The central figure. He was the one who had set up the board. He always seemed to be right at the finishing line, ahead of everyone else. In the end, however, he had underestimated his opponent. He hadn't known about the hidden trump until it was too late. The Death Note. L met defeat in the empty echo of church bells.

Light. The most aggressive player. He seemed to have the winning hand. He knew how to keep a poker face. He had over-estimated himself. He claimed victory far too early. He had not expected another player to take his opponent's place. Near. Light met defeat in a free-fall from grace.

Matt. He was bored of the game. He chose to stay only to help his partner win. Once he started, he knew he had to finish. He wasn't paying attention to his own position. He relied on his teammate's far too much. Matt met defeat in the sweet sting of lead.

Mello. He was tired of always coming in second. He was unpredictable. It made things more interesting. He sacrificed the wrong piece in a rash move. Mello met defeat in a futile blaze of glory.

Near. The self-proclaimed winner. One by one, he watched the others fall until only he was left standing. He picked up the pieces left behind and began to reassemble them. As if it were nothing more than a puzzle to be solved.


	2. Beyond the Mirror

**Part One: Beyond the Mirror**

Beyond Birthday was going to prove himself to L. He was going to make L love him. Beyond Birthday's love was to die for.

Beyond glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror of Blues-harp Babysplit's apartment. He tried to picture the expression on L's face. Would it look something like what was staring back at him now? A man haunted. L's every waking moment was soon to be governed by thoughts only of him. He would consume L as L had consumed him. Yes, he would obsess about the deeds of Beyond Birthday until he had nothing else left but to admit defeat. It would twist inside him slowly like the blade of a knife. It would cut him to the core.

Such a pity he thought, that he would never get to meet him. But he didn't have to actually see the man in flesh and blood to know him. All he had to do was look at himself. Beyond knew himself very well. To know Beyond was to know L. To love Beyond was to love L. To destroy Beyond was to destroy L. That stupid woman who claimed that she knew him would never understand. Would never be able to figure it out. He clutched the canister of gasoline tight in his hand.

He walked out into the spacious living room and found a patch of carpet to lay down on. Anointed himself from head to toe. Took the matches from his pocket. The smell of sulfur hung in the air for a split second. He placed the small flame to his drenched shirt. Beyond was burning for L's love.

It was funny how it didn't seem to hurt. Despite the blazing inferno, he felt surprisingly cool.

"I've won," he whispered through failing breath.

But he hadn't won. There was Naomi standing in the doorway, gun in hand. She locked eyes with his. She knew.

"No," he said but no words came out. "Don't take this from me."

He could no longer feel. The room was closing in around him. Then darkness.

"You lost, B."

A voice rich and full. And strangely familiar.

He was standing in front of a full-length mirror. Wide eyes looked back at him from the glass. Not his eyes.

"I won," the man in the reflection said.

Beyond placed his hand up against the glass. The mirror image did as well. The same hair. The same slouched posture. That telling smile. They belonged to him. But those eyes. They were filled with triumph and conviction.

"L," he said.

He felt himself falling. Strong arms caught him around the waist. Cradling him. Lowering him gently to the ground.

"You're such a fool," L said.

He was on top of Beyond. Pinning him. Looking down on him.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," B replied. "I wanted to tell you. To show you."

"Then tell me," L replied.

His breath felt hot on the nape of Beyond's neck.

"Show me."

The sensation of L weighing him down suddenly did not seem all that unpleasant. In fact, it was oddly arousing. He raised his head as high as he could and locked mouths with the other man. The taste was sweet and sticky like strawberry jam. Like blood. He let out a low moan.

"I submit," he said in a gasp. "I give in."

"You're beginning to understand," L replied. "But you're a criminal, B. And criminals need to be punished."

"But it was all for you, L," Beyond replied.

"Then I'll be the one to decide your sentence."

"Yes. Make me pay. I was insolent to think I could ever achieve your level of greatness."

His body was aching. The blinding pain of love.

"Help me," Beyond begged. "Make me yours."

"No," L said. "You're not worthy of my love."

Tears streamed down Beyond's cheeks. He turned his head away from L and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His black hair was nothing but burnt cinders. His lips blistered and red. His face distorted. Half melted like dripping wax. His charred body prone on a white sheet.

He woke up screaming.

He was covered in bandages. IVs pumping clear fluid into his veins. Tubes extending from his seared flesh. The whir and blinking of machines keeping him alive. He tried to move, but found leather straps binding him to the sides of the bed.

No.

"He's awake, Doctor."

No.

L's sentence had been crueler than anything he himself could have devised. He had even managed to outdo him in that area.

He had lived. But inside he was as dead as those he had killed.

Love could reduce a man to ashes.


	3. The Sweet Song of Heaven

**Part Two: The Sweet Song of Heaven**

L was going to die.

He saw it as clearly as he saw the man in front of him. It was undeniable. As undeniable as the love he felt for the one who was going to order his execution. Light Yagami. Kira.

He had heard it in the gentle drops of rain. In the lonely toll of the bells.

"Ryuzaki," Light said.

He was sitting down on a straight-backed, wooden chair. Still toweling his hair dry.

"Yes, Light?" L replied.

He was perched on the edge of the bed. Still wet. Looking for all the world like a half-drowned cat. Pathetic.

"Why are you so sad? We caught Kira."

"No. We caught a Kira. Not the original."

"Doesn't that count for something?"

"No. Because you are the original Kira."

Light sighed and threw the towel at L.

"Are you still going on about that?" he asked. "I thought you'd finally trust me by now."

"I trust Light Yagami," L replied. "And it is Light Yagami who is with me in this room right now."

"If you believe me-_truly_ believe me-then there must be something I can do to prove my innocence to you."

L lowered his eyes. He seemed to ponder this for a moment.

"Okay, Light. Humor me if you will for a bit," he said. "You have been working the case with me for a long time now. You seem to possess good incite into Kira's mind. Tell me. What would Kira do if he were here right now? Alone here with me. No one else in the building."

Light hated these mind games. No matter what answer he gave it was always wrong. And L still suspected him anyways.

"Well I suppose he would try to kill you," he said. "But of course, Kira seems to have some respect for those who follow the law and are not criminals. Maybe he would persuade you to join his cause."

"No," L replied. "That is what you would do."

_Damn it_. _What is he getting at? _

"What do you think he would do?" Light asked.

_Turn the question back on him. _

"I asked you first."

That stupid little smile. Yeah, this was building up to something alright.

"Kira is proud. He would want you to acknowledge his great accomplishments."

"How would he go about doing that?"

"By showing his dominance. By proving that he was the superior man."

"Yes, I see," L said.

He rose to his feet. Paced around for a while. Stopped directly in front of Light and sank to his knees on the floor.

"What the hell are you doing, Ryuzaki?" Light demanded.

He was growing weary of this.

"Just play along," L said. "Now Kira has shown me that he is more powerful than myself."

Light looked down at the man kneeling before him. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. What would Kira have done in this situation? Hell, he _was_ Kira and he didn't know what to do. He had never expected such a simple admission of defeat from L. But of course this was all just pure speculation...

"He...I think he would..."

"Yes?"

L was looking up at him. Light suddenly felt a pang of arousal. He could feel himself starting to grow hard.

_Shit. _

He hoped L didn't notice.

"He wouldn't want to kill me right away, would he?" L asked. "He would want to humiliate me, correct?"

L had noticed.

"Ryuzaki..." Light said.

He couldn't stand this for much longer. For a moment, L thought he saw a change come over Light's face.

"You're the legendary detective. You already know the answer."

Light hadn't anticipated that L would actually begin to unzip his pants. That he would actually start to pull down his boxers and begin to massage him with those long fingers of his.

"Ryuzaki..." Light moaned.

L's tongue darted across sensitive skin and Light gasped..

No. This is not how Kira would handle this. L was most definitely in control of this situation. He was afraid to give himself away. And yet so afraid that L would stop.

"Put your hands behind your back," he ordered. "Kira would make you bend to his will. He wouldn't allow you to do anything that he hadn't demanded of you."

L readily obeyed. Light had a strange smirk on his face that he had not seen since the earliest days of the investigation.

"Now take me in your mouth."

Light was trembling with joy. He had complete power over L. He would show him how to properly worship the God of the New World.

He roughly pushed L's head down further.

"Deeper," he growled. "All the way."

The sensation was incredible. The vision of his fingers tightly clenched around a fist-full of L's hair as he forced him up and down so intoxicating. He could hear L gasp slightly for air. He made him quicken the pace.

"Look at me," Light said.

He tilted L's head upwards. Wide-eyes staring back at him. Pleading.

For what? For him to end this? For him to keep going?

_You started this Ryuzaki...You finish it. _

Tears streaming down his cheeks. So helpless. At Kira's mercy.

_This is exactly what he wants. To bring this side of me to the surface. _

Not pleading. Accusing.

Light gently placed his hand on the side of L's face. Wiped the tears away.

"Enough, Ryuzaki," he said. "You don't have to..."

But L continued. Of his own free will. For some reason, Light found this even more pleasurable.

"That's so good. Please don't stop."

L was skillful and ardent in his actions. Making sure every inch was attended to. The expression on Light's face was one of pure rapture. L would show him what real mercy was.

"Ryuzaki..." he groaned. "You might want to...I'm going to..."

L still didn't stop. Not until he was sure Light had finished completely. Not until he had stopped quivering and shuddering.

"I..." Light said. "Thank you, Ryuzaki."

"I wanted to," L replied. "But you are welcome."

How did he always manage to manipulate him back into believing him? For just this once, he wanted to be wrong. To dare to hope that maybe Light really was telling the truth. No. He had seen Kira in Light's eyes.

"Are you okay, Ryuzaki?" Light asked. "I hope I didn't hurt you."

"No."

L didn't know what he wanted anymore. Kira caught and brought to justice with Light by his side. Impossible. They were the same person.

He closed his eyes. He could still taste Light on his lips. He savored it for a moment. He leaned back and felt Light's warm body pressing up against him. Arms embracing him from behind. Soft skin against his own.

"I want to repay you," Light said. "Tell me how."

"Make it happen fast." L said. "I do not wish to suffer like this any longer."

"What do you mean?"

"When my time comes, show me the same mercy I showed you."

"Ryuzaki..."

"Don't say anything more. There is nothing left to discuss."

He turned and walked out the door leaving Light alone. Giving him time to let the harsh reality of his words sink in.

"Yes, Ryuzaki. I promise."

Love could be merciful.


	4. No Regrets

**Part Three: No Regrets**

Matt loved the feeling of wind rushing through his hair. Gripping onto Mello as they cruised down the highway on his motorcycle was one of the few things worth venturing outside for. Worth living for. Mello was weaving in and out of lanes, dodging cars. Hollering like a madman at the top of his lungs. Being with Mello was always an adventure. A wild and crazy thrill-ride that he never wanted to end.

"Think we can go faster?" Matt asked.

He had to yell over the roar of traffic.

"You know it!" Mello answered. "Hold on!"

He grasped the handles tighter and revved the motor.

God what were they doing now? One-Hundred? One-Ten? Matt squeezed Mello closer around the waist and let out a laugh of pure joy. This was freedom.

Mello had always been the more brazen one of the pair. Ever since childhood. He spoke his mind. He let his emotions get the better of him. He was different than anyone else Matt had met at the orphanage. Where the other residents were quiet and calculating, Mello was loud and impulsive. Highly intelligent, unquestionably, but a bit of a loose cannon. He openly allowed his feelings to show through. When Mello was pissed, you knew it. And Matt couldn't help but share in that anger. When Mello was apprehensive, Matt felt anxiety wash over him. When Mellow was content, it was sublime.

Who could tell what the others, like Near, were feeling? If they felt at all. So predictable with their logic and cold, smug indifference. But Mello. He never did know quite what to expect. He kept Matt on his toes. Always kept him guessing. It was like being on a roller-coaster full of twists and turns. Sometimes Matt felt dizzy and disoriented, like he wanted to vomit, but mostly, he sat back and enjoyed the surprises.

Like that time at Wammy's House. When they had been arguing over who-remembers-what-now and Matt had tackled him to the ground intent on beating the ever-living snot out of him. A tussle that had started with fists flying, legs kicking, and insults hurling. That had ended in a frantic struggle of tongues meeting, hands groping, and soft moans of pleasure. A blurr of colors. A whirlwind of emotions. No confusion afterward. No regrets. It was just so natural. Matt and Mello. People spoke of them as if they were one entity. Like one could simply not be without the other.

Mello was Matt's whole world. His friend. His family. His lover. With Mello beside him, he felt invincible. He could do the impossible. They were untouchable. Unstoppable. A hurricane of red and yellow fury.

"Fast enough for you, Matty?" Mello called out to him.

"Hell yeah, Mel!"

He let out a loud cry and Mello joined in.

"After we catch Kira," Mello said. "We're gonna take to the roads and keep on driving. You and me. Where ever the wind takes us."

_"After we catch Kira," _Matt thought, bitterly._ "Why not now? To hell with Kira. To hell with Near. Let's just ride off into the sunset."_

But it was never that simple. Once Mello got it into his mind that he was going to do something, that was that. Matt didn't ask questions. He just went along with it. Mello could accomplish anything despite impossible odds.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Matt replied.

The best plan Mello had ever had. Matt and Mello. Nothing could fuck that up. It was too perfect.

The bike swerved into the city. Buildings grew more closely crowded together as they approached the heart of downtown. Mello was slowing down, careful not to draw attention to them.

Matt's car was parked near-by. Close to the Sakura Television headquarters. Mello eased the motorcycle up to the curb and Matt reluctantly hopped down. His legs felt like rubber, but he didn't mind. It was just a minor side effect.

"Ready to rock and roll, partner?" Mello asked.

"Rock and roll," Matt replied. "I'll see you soon."

He found the car keys and unlocked the door. Climbed in the driver's seat. Gave a thumbs-up signal to Mello. Sped off.

He reached under the seat and found the gun. Smoke bombs. He was going to make one hell of a diversion. Mello had insisted that he'd go it alone, but that wasn't their way of doing things. No. Matt wouldn't allow Mello to take such a risk by himself. Those idiot bodyguards would never know what hit them. They would never suspect Mello was the real threat. Matt could take the heat. No one would be able to keep up with him.

He rolled down the window. Fired into the crowd.

He hadn't anticipated that their reaction would be so swift. He tore down the pavement. Tires burning rubber. Damn it! They were right on his ass. At least Mello would be safe.

Time to kick things into high-gear.

Rocketing down the highway wasn't quite the same without Mello. It just wasn't as fun. Well, no worries, he'd shake them soon enough. A high-speed chase against some deluded Kira worshipers was nothing he couldn't handle. They didn't have any real faith. They'd have to give up eventually.

They were fucking persistent. Matt had already cleared the line separating the first city from the next. Of course Kira's followers would be more fervent here in Japan. It hadn't gotten quite this bad in the United States. Yet. It wouldn't get this bad. Mello was going to bring down Kira.

Time to show these assholes what he was made of.

He slammed his foot down on the pedal and floored it. He could almost taste freedom.

A blockade of police cars. Shit. Should have known. Maybe they weren't complete idiots after all. No matter. Mello would eventually bail him out of trouble. He'd come busting through the prison walls to rescue him.

Matt screeched to a halt. Calmly lit up a cigarette. Walked out of his car.

He was met by a dozen guns aimed squarely in his direction. He held up his hands.

"You got me," he said. "Nice weapons. Didn't know the Japanese were allowed to carry such powerful fire-arms."

This was just a minor set-back. Nothing he couldn't talk himself out of. Buy Mello some more time. Just to be sure.

"I'll go peacefully. Don't you want to know the location of my accomplice?"

His answer was a hail of bullets.

It took a split second for Matt to process what had just happened. He'd been shot. Not according to plan. A small error on Mello's part. No problem. Mello would still be able to gain the upper hand. It had been worth it. He could die for Mello. No regrets.

He smiled. Fell backwards. The cigarette fell from his mouth.

_Rock and roll, babe._

He was dead before it hit the ground.

Love could set a man free.


	5. Bittersweet

**Part Four: Bittersweet**

This was it. Mello was going to win. He was going to show that twit Near who was the better man. He had managed to kidnap the hostage, Kiyomi Takada. Kira's spokesperson. The stupid bitch wasn't going anywhere. She was completely helpless in the back of the truck. She would lead him to Kira. To victory.

Mello looked over at the portable television. Important News Bulletin. Suspect shot dead. Matt's red mustang.

"Oh Matt...I got you killed. I'm so sorry."

He fought back tears of anger. He had fucked up big time. His biggest fuck up ever. He bit down on his lip so hard it began to bleed.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Mello had asked him only hours earlier. "I can do this on my own. Another way."

"We're in this together," Matt had replied. "To the end. Just like we've always said."

"Yeah. To the end babe."

"We're going to send this stupid system crashing to the ground. We're going to show everyone that Kira can bleed. He isn't a god. He's just some fascist dictator."

Mello and Matt. The punks. The rebels. The liberators of the people. Mello liked the sound of that. Near would never have been brave enough as to risk his own life for the sake of others. He was every bit as disgusting as Kira. Using people as pawns. This wasn't a game anymore. This was a revolution.

He threw his arms around Matt and whirled him around the room in a dance.

"You're fucking crazy, Mel." Matt said.

Mello lifted him into the air. Stumbled. They crashed onto the bed. Laughing like fools.

Mello had always been insecure. He doubted his own worth. His own place in the grand scheme of things. All that disappeared when he was with Matt. He felt as if he could conquer the whole world with him by his side. It was an amazing power. Better than nicotine. Better than video-games. Better than chocolate. Matt was the sweetest addiction. No matter how many times they were apart, he always found his way back to him.

"But you could make the sun stop shining in the sky if you put your mind to it," Matt continued. "Nothing is impossible for you."

"For us," Mello corrected.

He found himself in Matt's embrace. Being drawn closer to his warm body.

"Tell me what it's going to be like, Mel."

"It's going to be fucking spectacular, Matty. We're going to put a bullet right between Kira's eyes."

"I meant afterward."

How many times was Matt going to ask this question? He really didn't know what was going to happen. He hadn't planned that far ahead yet. The logical conclusion was to go back to America. Find Near. Throw it in his face. Of course he'd get another apartment with Matt. That didn't need to be said.

"I'm going to screw your brains out," Mello replied. "Until we're both so sore we can't move."

"I can live with that," Matt said.

It didn't matter to Mello what they did afterward. As long as they were together.

He kissed Matt gently on the mouth.

"Don't worry about it, babe," Mello said. "We make our own destiny. We'll figure something out like we always do."

A smile formed on Matt's lips.

"Yeah, babe. You're always right."

But Mello hadn't been right. He would never see that beautiful face again. He would never smell the pungent aroma of his cigarette smoke. Hear the reassuring tone of his voice. Taste the sweetness of his kiss. Not in this life.

He parked the truck. He was going to make this bitch pay. Make Kira pay. Make Near pay. They would know what it meant to lose.

A sharp pain in his chest immobilized him. No. How the hell had his name been revealed? Kira was going to win this round. Winning didn't matter to Mello anymore. Not without Matt.

He looked helplessly at the television screen.

Too late he had understood what Matt had been trying to tell him for a long time. That Near should be the one to fight Kira. Yes, Near was the rightful heir to the title of L. He had no reason to feel inferior to him. He had something that Near would never possess. Something that Near could never take away from him. The ability to love and to be loved.

"Hang on, Matty," he said with his final breath. "I'm coming for you."

Love could be bittersweet.


	6. The Lament of Lucifer

**Part Five: The Lament of Lucifer**

Ray Penber. Naomi. Mello. Kiyomi. Ryuzaki... Sacrifices had to be made in order to create a new and glorious world. Now he was going to show Near the wrath of Kira. Soon. It was almost time for the sun to rise on a new age. An era free of criminals and low-lives. The reign of Kira was about to begin.

"Come out, Mikami," Light said.

A loyal follower always obeys. Mikami did as he was instructed.

Now all he had to do was wait. Forty seconds was all that stood between him and victory.

He looked down at his watch. The second hand passed its mark.

No.

How could this be? Everyone was still alive.

"Give me the book," Near instructed.

Of course Light's was the only name not written in it. How the hell could this be happening? His plans had been so carefully orchestrated. Mikami had not betrayed him. He could see that in the man's awe-struck face.

Near...

Impossible.

That stupid smile on his face.

"Light Yagami is Kira."

Shit. Shit. Shit. He was not going to be outsmarted by some kid. He would make the others believe in him again.

But they wouldn't listen to him. They wouldn't even listen to Kira.

Near...

Nate Rivers!

He frantically began to write the name down on the final scrap of the death note. They would follow him again if he could just get rid of this irksome brat.

Shots rang out. The pen flew from his hand.

_Nice try Matsuda. But you're no hero. _

Blood was more fitting than ink anyways.

He continued writing.

Lead ripped through his chest.

The great god Kira was not going to die by the hand of such a fool.

Mikami screamed.

Light ran.

Until he could run no more.

He collapsed to the ground. Surely Ryuk would come to his rescue.

But he was nowhere to be seen.

Finally. The glimpse of a figure emerging from the shadows. He was going to be saved.

_"Ry-Ryuzaki?"_

The specter moved closer. Light could suddenly see the invisible chains that had still bound them together over the years.

_"I'm going to die. You have come to avenge yourself."_

But there was no malice in the expression of Ryuzaki's face. Only the faint hint of a smile. Like he had beat Light yet again. This time to the secrets of the afterlife.

_"I'm sorry, Ryuzaki."_

Tears welled up in his eyes.

_"The first truth you have spoken to me."_

_"Oh, Ryuzaki. Forgive me."_

_"We are chained to one another by the choices we have made, Light."_

_"I am scared, Ryuzaki. I've always been scared. When I first found the notebook I didn't think it would work. I became a murderer. I tried to redeem myself by making a perfect world. I lost myself in Kira."_

_"Let Kira die. Come with me. There is no place in existence where you cannot follow me."_

The phantom bent down and kissed him. For a moment, Light could taste Heaven.

He could finally hear the bells.

He closed his eyes and breathed his last.

Love was forgiving.


	7. Epilogue: Pieces

**Epilogue: Pieces**

Near was good at solving puzzles. There was always a logical solution. He felt best when he could sit back and watch the full picture come together. The new L. The one who had beat Kira at his own game.

So why was he at a loss to explain the questions that now posed themselves to him?

How could a man as intelligent and as promising as Beyond Birthday have fallen into a spiral of obsession and self-destruction?

What had the greatest detective of all time, L, seen in the eyes of Kira before he succumbed to the final sleep?

What would lead a man as rational as Matt to think he could pull off such an insane scheme?

Why had Mello resigned himself to his fate so peacefully, when Near had known him to be a person who would have gone kicking and screaming into a not-so-gentle goodnight?

Why was it that Light Yagami-Kira-despite all his fear and defiance of death, been discovered dead with the peaceful look of an angel on his face?

Near had no answer to this. Perhaps human emotion was one component that could not be explained with logic.

Perhaps love was more than just a game.

**The End**

Authors Notes: Yes I have read the manga I just borrowed heavily from the anime series because it suited the mood for my story. I hope you all enjoyed!


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